it has been many days now that i cant seem to get this post typed out properly....seriously, for the pass days since my last post, i've been thinking of posting things here and yet i was unable coz of the things happen around me. Even now i struggle to type this, to type this into proper sentencing and something that makes sense. Reason??...too many things on my mind...
Where to start and how....well i guess it all started when me wanting to go back for my holiday became a serious issue. parents want me to stay and work....while me wan to go back coz i dun really like it here with my current situation. Rite here i feel so much retriction where i got to act according to the rules etc etc which makes me feel not myself. Worst part of it...in the midst of this ia made my mom cry...and i concluded to give up on that thought of going back. Yet as the days pass i feel more miserable coz i know i'm forcing myself to stay where i am to be at.
things has been told to me on wat i can do here and yet i dun accept it coz i feel it is different and there are more retrictions to it. And it is a contradicting thing when at one point i was ask not to go back to save money and yet i was told to stay here and spend more money...dun u think it is a contradicting thing?? i was ask for reasons to go back too...and of course i had mine and yet i wouldnt tell coz i know it wont make a difference..it has always been like this since young...always tricking me to tell them y and yet always breaking the promise so i never tell y in the end. Arghhhh....and yet i'm still here thinking of ways to go back..crap.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was reading my old blog...haha and i find it funny when i read it. Not cause it is really funny though there is some that r funny. It is cause i find it the way i used to type, gave me an impression of a naive, inmature complaining idiot. Seriously i laugh and smile at the posts i typed there. Well i dunno whether i'm still the same here but then either way it means something good. If i've changed....means i've grown..haha...if not means i'm staying true to myself=P But then i like the way i used to typed it out...coz it reminds me of the things i've done back then. And i'm happy about it though there was those sad and frustrating post, it still reminds me of the experince that i've gone thru.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking about a topic jess blog about and that makes me lazy to blog it again...go read off her's if u wanna read...haha...which topic is it...u figure it out lar...just darn no mood rite now=P
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man....so many things and yet i manage to post these...crap...and this is heading no where...i shall end here...
No comments:
Post a Comment